Let’s be honest for a moment: being the “other woman” or the “other man” is already emotionally exhausting. But constantly questioning whether your affair partner still cares about you can turn that situation into a complete nightmare.
Before jumping to conclusions, it’s important to look closely at what’s really happening. Are you genuinely noticing signs that your affair partner is pulling away, or could there be another explanation behind their change in behavior?
1. There are no future plans anymore
One of the earliest and clearest red flags is the sudden disappearance of future talk. In the beginning, your affair partner may have spoken about “someday,” imagined life together, or hinted at a real relationship.
Now, those conversations are gone. They avoid discussing the future entirely—whether it’s long-term plans or something as simple as meeting up next weekend. If even small plans feel impossible to pin down, it’s a strong sign their interest is fading.
2. Divorce or separation talk has stopped
At the start of the affair, promises were likely made. You were told their relationship was ending, that a breakup or divorce was inevitable, and that you just needed to be patient.
If they now shut down or become defensive whenever this topic comes up, that shift is telling. The truth is, when someone is losing interest, they stop trying to keep you emotionally invested—even with empty promises.
3. Physical intimacy has declined
A noticeable drop in physical closeness can signal emotional withdrawal. While stress, fatigue, or temporary issues can affect intimacy, consistent avoidance without explanation is different.
When desire fades and effort disappears, it often means the emotional connection has weakened as well.
4. Excuses have become constant
There’s always a reason why they can’t see you, call you, or follow through. Work, family, stress, responsibilities—there’s an endless list of excuses.
Occasional conflicts are normal, but when excuses become a pattern, they’re often a cover for declining interest rather than genuine obstacles.
5. You’re no longer a priority
In the beginning, they made time for you no matter what. Now, you hear from them only when it’s convenient—or when everyone else is unavailable.
You’re no longer chosen first. Instead, you’re squeezed in last, if at all. That shift in priority speaks louder than words.
6. Your feelings don’t matter anymore
When you try to express how you feel, the conversation goes nowhere. You’re dismissed, ignored, or made to feel dramatic.
They protect their main relationship at all costs while your emotions are treated as an inconvenience. When someone truly cares, they don’t consistently minimize your pain.
7. Everything you do irritates them
The things they once found charming now annoy them. Your messages, your questions, your presence—it all seems to bother them.
This irritation is often a sign that attraction and emotional investment have worn off, replaced by impatience and indifference.
8. There’s someone else involved
If your affair partner starts seeing another person on the side—on top of their existing relationship—it’s a clear signal that you’re no longer special.
At that point, it’s no longer about circumstances or confusion; it’s about someone who thrives on cheating and emotional chaos.
9. Their effort has completely disappeared
Perhaps the most obvious sign is the lack of effort. No more checking in, no reassurance, no attempts to keep the connection alive.
When someone stops trying altogether, it usually means they’ve already emotionally checked out—even if they haven’t said it out loud.